docholligay:

“Now if I wish for me Mum and Dad to be alive again, is that one wish or two? What if I say I wish for me parents to be alive again, that’s one, innit? I don’t think that could rightly count as two, believe that’d come before a court of law and be held up. But wait is this like Aladdin, where I can’t wish for that? I mean that’s me premier wish right out, so it is, but I don’t know if I think Disney movies ‘ave the greatest possible grip on the regulations of the fantastic. Could you make Win ‘uman? Come to think of it, maybe ‘e wouldn’t even want that, and I’m being a bit of an arse’ole, him being a gorilla’s no reason ‘e shouldn’t be treated like a man, ‘e shouldn’t ‘ave to be the one to change, no. Supposing I wish to be grounded in time, like everybody else, but keep me blink? That’s pretty straightforward, maybe that’ll be me first as you and I sort the rest of this out, seems reasonable to m–OH! Can I ask to make everybody just treat Win like a man? See, that’s alright, innit, or is that like making someone fall in love? That’s an Aladdin rule again, I think, though, and the world would fall in love with ‘im, if they weren’t so preoccupied with ‘is being a gorilla, but you you know what else I think–”

The genie threw his hands up, mouth still open, half introduction, and slithered back into the lamp. He could wait another thousand years.