official-deutschland:

adhdheather:

to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes

five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there’s 5280 feet in a mile

To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.

fauxastrology:

tonytimelovings:

fauxastrology:

aries, taurus, gemini, cancer, leo, virgo, libra, scorpio, sagittarius, capricorn, aquarius, pisces

isn’t that all of them

we all need to leave this site. no sign left behind.

shitmygaywifesays:

So, trying out a new pet-name, I decided to call my wife “Vanilla Bean”– just giving it a go because vanilla is my favorite flavor and beans are cute and she’s my favorite and also cute. 

Now, apparently “Vanilla” is plain and boring and baby did not appreciate being called plain and boring, and so here is a list of the pet names she’s given me in last few minutes:

– My saltine cracker

– The concept of Kansas

– My dearest manila folder

– That beige color they paint offices

– Bleached white rice

– You blank word document, you

– My perfect suburbs Republican

– Tap water