reasons not to get drunk: i just stepped on my child 3 different times and now he wants me to fuck off into the ether

well ok he’s still cautiously sitting by my feet but

i cant hold him

or pet him

being drunk is not worth this lack of kitty pats

So I was amusing myself with that Darwin thing (I’m still so mad I got a moth) when I entered the name of one of the coworkers that fucks with me at work; he’s a got damned HUMMINGBIRD. I am OUTRAGED and vaguely insulted, he’s not nearly nice enough to be a hummingbird. Maybe like, a skink or something.