rosepetalrevolution:

captainsnumple:

paksenarrion-reader:

Okay. Everyone bitches about the original American dub of Sailor Moon. And with good reasons. But let me tell you an untold tale. A tale of poor English skills. A tale of translating a translation.

A tale of the Polish dub of Sailor Moon.

Don’t worry, it’s mostly hilarious.

First off, they dropped the “Sailor” title. Everywhere. Instead of Sailor Moon, we now have “Czarodziejka z Księżyca,” literally Sorceress From The Moon. And the trend persists with Senshi. Exceptions include:

• Sailor V is now “tajemnicza czarodziejka,” literally Mystery Sorceress. MINAKO WHAT IS THIS MYSTERY SHIT
• Sailor Star Maker is now “Gwiezdna Czarodziejka Ocalenia,” literally Starry Sorceress of Salvation.
• Sailor Star Healer is now “Gwiezdna Czarodziejka Swobody,” literally Starry Sorceress of Liberty. I’m so sorry, Yaten. I’m so sorry.

Beryl’s name was pronounced Peril. Because Poland I guess.

The Ayakashi sisters were renamed from Koan, Berthier, Calaveras and Petz to Kermesite, Berthierite, Calaverite, and Petztite. That makes some marginal amount of sense I guess, since those are minerals they were named after in the first place. (kooankou is apparently the Japanese name for kermesite.)

The Witches 5 were renamed to “Domek Pięciu Wiedźm,” the Cabin of Five Witches. Why? Why not?

Hawk’s Eye was renamed to Falcon’s Eye. Because nobody could English around here.

Seiren and Nyanko’s names were mercifully not translated at all, for some reason. We just got Sorceress Aluminium Seiren and Sorceress Tin Nyanko.

Lead Crow though? “Ognista Czarodziejka,” Fiery Sorceress, because fuck this and fuck you and fuck the system as well.

But wait. It gets better. Or worse.

They butchered attack names because they wanted them to rhyme.

• Sabão Spray became “mydło, powidło,” literally Soap Jam.
• Sabão Spray Freezing became “mydło, powidło, lód,” Soap Jam Ice.
• Shine Aqua Illusion became “błyszcząca woda siły doda,” Shining Water Will Add Strength.
• Fire Soul became “potęgo ognia, działaj,” Power of Fire, Work. And “work” in the sense you’re likely to yell at a glitchy TV.
• Fire Soul Bird wasn’t translated because fuck the system sideways.
• Supreme Thunder and Sparkling Wide Pressure had the same name, “błyskawice, grzmoty ku pomocy,” Lightning, Thunder For Aid.
• Jupiter Oak Evolution became “Księżyce Jowisza,” Moons of Jupiter (?????).
• BRACE YOURSELF HERE COMES THE BIG GUN.
• Crescent Beam became “groch, fasola,” literally Peas Beans. Because the translator confused beam (promień) with bean (fasola). And I’m not even joking.
• Crescent Beam Shower became “groch, fasola, silna wola,” Peas Beans Strong Willpower. I’m so sorry, Minako. I’m so sorry.
• Venus Love and Beauty Shock had two translations. One: “złocistych serc magiczny krąg” (Of Golden Hearts, Magical Circle). Two: “planeto Wenus, do ataku” (Planet Venus, Attack. As in, ordering a celestial body to charge like a unit of cavalry. I’m so, so sorry, Minako.)
• Space Sword Blaster became “śmiertelny kinżał”, Deadly Kindjal. It’s a Georgian double-edged dagger, btw.
• Deep Submerge became “wzburzone fale oceanu, do dzieła,” Rough Ocean Waves, Let’s Get This Done. I’m so sorry, Michiru.
• Submarine Reflection became “zwierciadełko znikadełko”. I’m just. I’m not sure the latter is even a word. This looks like something akin to Mirror Disappear, but implying that the mirror makes things disappear, and both words come pre-equipped with a diminutive suffix.

source.

I LAUGH SO HARD IT HURTS JESUS CHRIST

petition for an AU where everything is the same except Michiru has to straight up bellow “ROUGH OCEAN WAVES LET’S GET THIS DONE” every single time she attacks.