keyofjetwolf:

seananmcguire:

It was the damn party, of course.

Usagi wanted a party, and when Usagi wanted a party, of course Minako wanted a party, and when Mina wanted a party, of course Rei didn’t want a party, which meant it was easy to get Usagi and Rei fighting, and then go to Mako and Ami and point, and whisper, “I bet a party would make them feel better, ne?”

Boom.  Party, and she didn’t have to do a thing except for show up and look fabulous, two things she did with absolute and total ease.

Only Mako had made this amazing cake, all gilded and glittery, and of course Usagi had asked how it was so shiny, and Mako had produced this edible glitter dust that was supposed to be used to make food shine, and it was fine, it was fine, it was fine on the fondant, on the frosting, on the fruit, it was fine…

But then Usagi had opened the jar and looked inside, and sneezed, and the air had been full of glitter, so light that it didn’t fall, just hung there and slowly gilded everything, stuck to everything, and Mina had frozen, not quite breathing anymore.  She’d met Setsuna’s eyes across the room, and seen her own sudden, heart-stopping panic mirrored in sorrow and in graceful resignation.

You know, she’d thought, and Setsuna had inclined her head, ever so slightly, like agreement.  Like understanding.

“IiiiiiIiiiIIiii think we need more fruit punch,” Mina had suddenly warbled, bright as a songbird, careless as the dawn, before she’d turned, and fled, out into the night, away from the (moondust) glitter that drifted, shining, in the air.

It wasn’t as easy to run in her civilian form as it was in her senshi identity, but she’d had plenty of practice.  She’d managed.  Now she was sitting on a rooftop, compacted as small as she could be, her knees drawn to her chest, and the sky was a blanket spangled with stars, and she couldn’t–

(freeze burn explode)
(die she couldn’t die she couldn’t)

–breathe, she couldn’t breathe.  She wasn’t sure she’d ever been able to.  Maybe she’d been suffocating her whole life, and she’d only noticed now.  Maybe she was going to suffocate forever.

Maybe she deserved it.

There was a footstep on the roof behind her.  Setsuna sat, her own longer legs stretched out, feet braced against the gutter.  Mina knew without looking that Setsuna was watching her with concern, and so she didn’t look.

“She was kind sometimes, you know.”

“So I hear.”

“But not often.  Not to you.”

Now Mina did look, surprised.  An unkind word from Pluto about Serenity was rare enough to make this a condemnation.

Setsuna shook her head.  “She…blamed you, I think, because it was easier than blaming herself.  Blaming herself would have meant admitting fallibility, and if she had done that, she would have forced herself to question so many, many things.  So she blamed you.  There was no kindness in her, not where you were concerned.”

For the love of Serenity, remember, Mina thought, and the words were worse than a wound; they were a scar, unhealing and unchangeable.  “I never asked for any of this.”

“I know,” said Setsuna, and put her hand against Mina’s back, lending her strength without comment.

They sat together, the only two people in a human city to remember a time when there were palaces on the moon, and watched the stars go ceaselessly by.

WHAT THE FUCK SEANAN

OUT OF NOWHERE THERE’S THIS

DAMMIT WOMAN IS THERE NO END TO YOUR EVIL