shooting my feelings into the void, don’t mind me

isn’t it great when you mom just wants to have a simple conversation that really means nothing except it means everything to her because it’s to distract her from the fact that your dad is gone and you realize that but also you’re dealing with your own feelings about other people who are gone because it’s that time of the year but you’re not the kind of person who chatters, you’re the kind of person who just wants to bury shit deep and not talk for a while, so you’re caught in this pull of “appease the mom” and “I NEED SPACE AND QUIET”