Me, noticing a big ass bug on my bed, and trying to get Dee to eat it so I can sleep in peace: hey baby, c’mere!
Dee, looking right at me and not once looking at this big fuckin bug right up under him: hmm???
Me: Look! Right there! Right under you!!
Dee, lunging forwards so he can pet himself on my hand in a rare display of affection, while simultaneously stepping on the bug that he has no fucking idea is there: FINGERS
Me:………..I love you