Me, two weeks ago: ok i’m going to sit down and do something for Doc’s birthday!
Life: aha, what? you made plans? Nah, here have some shit to do
Me: ok well….I’ll just do it on the weekend!
Life: you fool, you have TWO BIRTHDAYS and your sister’s ANNIVERSARY to celebrate!! good luck!!!!
Me: ok…….well….I’ll just do it…over the next week then
Life: hmm. hm. hmmmmmmm. no.
Me: well I hate you but whatever, I still have the weekend.
Life: the weekend? haven’t you learned? that’s when shit happens! That’s when people randomly come over and stay for like three hundred hours so goooooood luuuuuuck
Me: f u c k
Me, noticing a big ass bug on my bed, and trying to get Dee to eat it so I can sleep in peace: hey baby, c’mere!
Dee, looking right at me and not once looking at this big fuckin bug right up under him: hmm???
Me: Look! Right there! Right under you!!
Dee, lunging forwards so he can pet himself on my hand in a rare display of affection, while simultaneously stepping on the bug that he has no fucking idea is there: FINGERS
Me:………..I love you
Rhio's Tunglr Stuff 